The Ballad of Brad

There once was a boy named Bradley,
And instead of counting sheep,
He spent every night sadly,
Crying himself to sleep.
His life was a cycle of follies,
Filled with many great sorrows,
A strand of melancholies,
That flood his todays and tomorrows.
He wanted a life to enjoy,
Something that’d give him delight,
The wanton dream of a boy,
But alas, he’d cry every night.
Then on one night of mystery,
Bradley broke free of his ways,
Gone was his sad old history,
When a man spoke of better days.
You see, on that night in question,
Bradley was approached by a king,
A fine dashing lord named Cheston,
Who said quite a wonderful thing.
Cheston was rich you see,
He possessed great wealth and splendor,
Not average like you or me,
Truly he was a big spender.
Bradley was invited to live with grace,
Which wiped away all of his grief,
Faster than the tears on his face,
Were wiped by the king’s handkerchief.
“Come live on my vast estate,”
Boomed the king in an elegant voice
“The decision is yours, I’ll wait”
“Yes!” of course was Bradley’s choice
“But wait,” Bradley suddenly inquired,
He was cautious of potential dangers,
For by his teacher he was inspired,
To talk not to complete strangers.
“Ah yes,” was the kings proclamation,
“An explanation is needed”
For he understood Brad’s hesitation,
“Here’s the thing,” he then proceeded.

“In the crusades I was in the East,
Fighting for the holy land,
For my father had be deceased,
Untimely by Saracen hand.
In a quest to avenge my dad,
I needed men for a battle,
So I enlisted many a lad,
Whether blacksmith or herder of cattle.
Now revenge is a bitter drink,
Especially when served with fruit,
That will cause you to act before you think,
So we did pillage, rape, and loot.
After me and my band,
Took revenge against the Sheik,
We burned all his crops and land,
And tortured him for a week.
We stole his wives and possessions,
We did whatever we wilt,
And then I sought confessions,
So that I could admit my guilt.
For I’d gotten carried away,
And preformed such terrible malice,
As setting his children astray,
And misusing his wonderful palace.
So after a bountiful feast,
I ran off to find his lost spawn,
Also to confess to a priest,
For clouding my brains with brawn.
But alas his children did stumble,
Into a group of marauders,
Who mistook them for knights in a bumble,
And led the kids to the slaughters.
I came across their camp,
And found a pike bearing a head,
I also found a gold lamp,
Where all the children lay dead.
The marauder’s miscalculation,
Had led to a mighty assault,
And for soldiers the kids were mistaken,
This tragedy was all my fault.
The marauders were nowhere in sight,
Ran off yet again to be menaces,
And all that was left of the fight,
Was the sad sight of infant carcasses.
Tearfully upon that lamp I swore,
To never again cause such harm,
I rubbed it until my hands were sore,
Out emerged a genie to my alarm.
He said unto me, three wishes he’d give,
And I knew what I had to say,
I wished to eternally live,
To right the wrongs I started that day.

“So there you have it Bradley,
Since then I’ve made sad kids happy,
And I’d take you on gladly,
Since your life is in a word, crappy.”
“Geewhiz! “ cried Bradley with much joy,
He had never been so glad,
He looked like a happy boy,
And at that moment forgot he was sad.
“Oh what a wonderful thing,”
He said with a joyous smile,
“You really are a king,
Not just some mincing pedophile”
At the king’s estate Bradley played,
Finally he was content,
With all the memories he made,
Created with money Cheston spent.
Bradley starred in reflection,
At a pond full of bright colored fish,
Suddenly he had a question,
“Cheston, for what else did you wish?”
The king answered loud,
“Why for riches of course,”
He said looking very proud,
“To give the kids out of remorse.”
Great wealth upon Brad he lavished,
Giving him tons of cash,
So that he could buy what he ravished,
And keep a hefty stash.
“This is too good to be true!”
Squealed Brad in a high girly voice,
“Well, its all just for you,”
Said lord Cheston to much rejoice.
Happily the king spoke,
“Take it, its yours to keep,”
Then with a choke, Bradley awoke,
And cried himself back to sleep.